i already forget how i used to feel about you

a love song to chew:

Ah jazz chord to say ah love chew.
Ah jazz chord to say how much ah care.
Ah jazz chord to say ah love chew.
And ah mean it from the bottom of my heart.

Chua everything ah hope for
Chua everything ah need
Chew are so beautiful to mee.

I really want to be there for a friend because I understand how he feels. I feel his pain and confusion. Because I've been there, done that. Yet I don't know how to help, because the reality is everything that ought to be said has already been said. And you already know everything, you've heard everything nice and comforting. You know rationally what you should do, but your heart just isn't convinced.

Or maybe I can't help him because I can't even help myself. I don't know what to say because nothing much helps anymore. You've heard so much, you've gone through so much, it's been so long and yet things don't improve. Because deep down, I too feel that it is hopeless, precisely because I've been there done that. I understand his sense of helplessness, therefore I don't know what to say.

No, Thank You, John
Christina Rossetti

I never said I loved you, John:
Why will you tease me day by day,
And wax a weariness to think upon
With always 'do' and 'pray'?

You know I never loved you, John;
No fault of mine made me your toast:
Why will you haunt me with a face as wan
As shows an hour-old ghost?

I dare say Meg or Moll would take
Pity upon you, if you'd ask:
And pray don’t remain single for my sake
Who can't perform that task.

I have no heart?—Perhaps I have not;
But then you're mad to take offence
That I don't give you what I have not got:
Use your own common sense.

Let bygones be bygones:
Don't call me false, who owed not to be true:
I'd rather answer 'No' to fifty Johns
Than answer 'Yes' to you.

Let's mar our pleasant days no more,
Song-birds of passage, days of youth:
Catch at today, forget the days before:
I'll wink at your untruth.

Let us strike hands as hearty friends;
No more, no less; and friendship’s good:
Only don't keep in view ulterior ends,
And points not understood

In open treaty. Rise above
Quibbles and shuffling off and on:
Here's friendship for you if you like; but love,
No, thank you, John.

"and I'm just a phony girl leading a phony life, hiding behind a phony smile. A girl without a voice, without a face. Who hears me, who sees me? Not just ignored, merely unnoticed, I'll burn like a moth in a flame."

YAY we won! Well done lions!!

I actually watched the Asean Football Championship, yes even me. It reminded me of younger days when I watched the Malaysia Cup. We used to go to the National Stadium wearing the red and white Lions shirt, complete with the caps and whatever else. Those were such fun days, we would do the Kallang wave and scold the referee and shout "twin terrors." I loved just yelling my lungs out supporting Singapore v. other malaysia teams. I recall the finals of S-League this year, (yes I was there, to accompany a friend who was supporting a friend who was playing in the band. ok connection a bit far, yes.) I was bored out of my mind. (I remember it was the thai team v. tampines. Or was it? haha, can't really remember anymore) The S-league is such a far far cry from the Msia Cup, I never paid attention to Singapore's soccer after Msia kicked us out. (personally i still think it's cos we kept thrashing them)

This year was exceptionally exhilarating. I am soo proud of Singapore, (even though it actually looks more like an international team. Think about it. 2 whites, 1 black, 1 china-born. Ok so almost everybody else is Malay. But where are the days when Singapore born and bred Chinese and Indians actually played and were not subs?) I almost wanted to sing the national anthem together with the team. I honestly felt Singapore played extremely well, and that we deserve to win with like a million hands down. The goal by Amri was so beautiful, noting of course that its by SEA standards. No doubt that the Thai team was strong, but Singapore rose to the occasion.

The most striking thing about the whole game was how Thailand had zero sportsmanship. When they walked off the field on Wednesday for 15 min, I already felt that they were such sore losers. No matter how controversial the penalty was, they should abide by the referee's orders. Isn't that what the referee is for?! Singapore could have just gone ahead and shot in like 20 goals since the Thais refused to play. And to think that the coach put them up to it and supported them. Well, at least they decided to play in the end.

But what REALLY irked me was how extremely rough they were yesterday. Please, it's a soccer match. It's not wrestling. How they can kick and tug at our players like that is above me. And the referee was so lenient towards them! By the 85th minute the Thai players were openly tripping our players, pulling our shirts, pushing and shoving. Sure, most of them got yellow cards, but did they care? Just give the whole team red cards. What's the use of a yellow card when all they care about is the final score in THIS game? But the last straw was when the stupid no.7 pushed our player, slapped him on the face, and the referee let it pass. When we complained, we got a yellow card FOR WASTING TIME. seriously, referee was beyond kayu. Oh, to think that the thais stayed behind to boo us when we received the trophy. They are just embarrassing themselves.

Singapore seems to be a bullying target for our neighbouring countries. How indonesia insulted us for not lending them money, insulting us as a small red dot. But Malaysia seriously takes the cake. I still can't believe they actually blamed us for the floods in their country. Like seriously, do they even know how ridiculous they sound? It's not as if Singapore didn't experience floods too. It's just that our drainage system is superior to theirs. If they would just concentrate on salvaging whatever they have left and stop blaming others for their problems. Which other country blames another country for natural disasters occuring in their own country?!

That's it for Singapore and our Asean neighbours, good night. :)