i already forget how i used to feel about you

A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it everyday. He climbed to the tree top, ate the apples,took a nap under the shadow... He loved the tree and the tree loved toplay with him.

Time went by... the little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree everyday. One day, the boy came back to the tree and he looked sad.

"Come and play with me," the tree asked the boy.

"I am no longer a kid, I don't play around trees anymore." The boy replied,"I want toys. I need money to buy them."

"Sorry, but I don't have money...but you can pick all my apples and sell them. Then you will have money."

The boy was so excited. He grabbed all the apples on the tree and left happily. The boy never came back after he picked the apples. The tree was sad.

One day, the boy returned and the tree was so excited. "Come and play with me" the tree said. "I don't have time to play. I have to work for my family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me?"

"Sorry, but I don't have a house. But you can chop off my branches tobuild your house." So the boy cut all the branches of the tree and left happily. The tree was glad to see him happy but the boy never came back since then. The tree was again lonely and sad.

One hot summer day, the boy returned and the tree was delighted. "Come and play with me!" the tree said.

"I am sad and getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat?"

"Use my trunk to build your boat. You can sail far away and be happy."

So the boy cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing and never showed up for a long time.

Finally, the boy returned after he left for so many years. "Sorry,my boy. But I don't have anything for you anymore.No more apples for you..." the tree said.

"I don't have teeth to bite" the boy replied.

"No more trunk for you to climb on"

"I am too old for that now" the boy said.

"I really can't give you anything ... the only thing left is my dying roots"the tree said with tears.

"I don't need much now, just a place to rest. I am tired after all these years." The boy replied.

"Good! Old tree roots is the best place to lean on and rest. Come, Come sit down with me and rest."

The boy sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears....


Funny how such a familiar tale should evoke such emotion in me. I don't want to be like the tree.

it's 7.30am now. my exam's at 9.30am. ive been up the whole night following the advice of elvin. surviving on red bull. i drank half a bottle and my heart is palpitating so quickly i feel like i might jsut faint. i don't take caffeine at all so im really feeling the effects.

anyway, friends of mine know that i never collect results of my assignments because im a scaredy-cat. like how i refused to collect my A-level results till my teacher called me to go down. that wasn't too bad, i did really well for a person who failed prelims. but after i got a D for prop law, ive never checked my paper ever again. in fact i still don't know how i did for my exams last year.

so this year i didnt check my papers for international law and ip across borders again. thats just me. im a wuss. but i decided to be brave and check since the results for the international law assignment was up online. and lo and behold, i actually did really really well! i thought i would get a B but i got 80%, that's an A! wow. for a person who doesnt go for lectures.

let me add that this is not by my work AT ALL. im not smart. im not hardworking. its all God's grace.

so yea, my international law paper's in 2 hours. ok this one, im really going to fail. i have nothing to count on. i cant think straight because of the lack of sleep.

i hate exams.

a forwarded email.

A minister passing through his church
in the middle of the day,
decided to pause by the altar
and see who had come to pray.

Just then the back door opened,
a man came down the aisle.
The minister frowned as he saw
the man hadn't shaved in a while.
His shirt was kind a shabby
and his coat was worn and frayed,
the man knelt, he bowed his
head, Then rose and walked away.

In the days that followed,
each noon time came this chap,
each time he knelt just for a moment,
a lunch pail in his lap.

Well, the minister's suspicions grew,
with robbery a main fear,
He decided to stop the man and ask him,
"What are you doing here?"

The old man said, he worked down the road.
Lunch was half an hour.
Lunchtime was his prayer time,
For finding strength and power,

"I stay only moments,
because the factory is so far away;
as I kneel here talking to the Lord,
This is kind a what I say:

"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU LORD,
HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP
AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.
DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO JESUS, THIS IS JIM
CHECKING IN TODAY."

The minister feeling foolish,
told Jim that was fine.
He told the man he was welcome
To come and pray just anytime.

Time to go, Jim smiled, said "Thanks."
He hurried to the door.
The minister knelt at the altar,
he'd never done it before.

His cold heart melted, warmed with love,
and met with Jesus there.
As the tears flowed, in his heart,
he repeated old Jim's prayer:

"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU LORD,
HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP
AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.
DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO JESUS, THIS IS ME
CHECKING IN TODAY."

Past noon one day, the minister noticed
that old Jim hadn't come.
As more days passed without Jim,
he began to worry some.

At the factory, he asked about him,
learning he was ill..
The hospital staff was worried,
But he'd given them a thrill.

The week that Jim was with them,
Brought changes in the ward.
His smiles, a joy contagious.
Changed people, were his reward.

The head nurse couldn't understand
why Jim was so glad,
when no flowers, calls or cards came,
Not a visitor he had.

The minister stayed by his bed,
He voiced the nurse's concern:
No friends came to show they cared.
He had nowhere to turn.

Looking surprised, old Jim spoke
up and with a winsome smile;
"the nurse is wrong, she couldn't know,
that in here all the while
everyday at noon He's here,
a dear friend of mine, you see,
He sits right down, takes my hand,
Leans over and says to me:

"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU JIM,
HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP,
AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN.
ALWAYS LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY,
I THINK ABOUT YOU EACH DAY,
AND SO JIM, THIS IS JESUS
CHECKING IN TODAY."

If this blesses you, pass it on
Many people will walk in and out of your life,
but only true friends will leave
footprints in your heart.

May God hold you in the palm of His hand and Angels watch over you. But for those of us who are already His, He not only holds us in the palm of His hand, but has engraved our names here, and we are continually in His sight (Isaiah 49:16)

Please pass this page on to your friends & loved ones. If you aren't ashamed. Jesus said, " If you are ashamed of me," I will be >>> > > ashamed of you before my Father." If you are not shamed, pass this on . But only if you mean it. Yes, I do love God. He is my source of existence and Savior. He keeps me functioning each and everyday. Without Him, I will be nothing. Without him, I am nothing but with Him "I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me." (Phil 4:13)

This is too good not to share -
SO THIS IS ME. JUST CHECKING IN

need to vent.

i. am. going. c r a z y.
literally c r a z y.

i would love to scream like i would at home but i think my flatmates will freak out. so all this frustration is just suppressed within. waiting to erupt in about 5, 4, 3, 2, 1..

AaAAAARRrrRRrrRrrGgGggGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wish i could say that helped but virtual venting just isnt the same.

help.

ok i know i havent updated in a while.

1. laptop screen's cracked.
2. no more credit in sim, not going to top up
3. exam on friday. international law. i am going to fail. they fail exchange students here. they are mad. and there is freaking a lot to read. i have gone for ONE lecture.
4. pounding headache.
5. DND.

Dove True Beauty Commercial Featuring Voice of Layah Jane

Dove Evolution

Dove Self-esteem Fund

a Dove film - Girl's self-esteem

Jealous of the girl who caught your eye
One of my darker days
When you looked at her where was I?
Shoulda been in her place
Here I am
All alone imagining what might have been, could have been
If I had been there

Jealous of the one whose arms are around you
If she's keeping you satisfied
Jealous of the one who finally found you
Made your sun and your stars collide
She's a very very lucky girl

Jealous of the girl who won your heart
They say it's a perfect match
She's gonna get to be where you are
And I don't get better than that
She'll say you're fine
Whisper words I wish were mine
And they might have been, could have been
If I had been there

You know I'd fight the good fight
If I thought I'd change your mind
But if she makes you happy
I would leave that dream behind
Man, she better treat you right
And give you everything
Cause at the moment she doesn't
I'll be waiting in the wings

She's a very very lucky girl

Friends will come and friends will go, The seasons change and it will show, I will age and so will you, But our friendship stays, strong and true.

There is that friend that is so much a part of you,
that you feel alone just thinking about the thought of her not being there.

There is that friendship
that has so much that it is based on that nothing could ever dissolve or even threaten it.

There is that friend with whom you share so much history that one fight or misunderstanding rolls off nearly instantaneously,
because one issue is so insignificant, and could never come close to shattering the bond.

There is that friendship
that cannot always be explained, but only understood and cherished by the two people that share it.

There is that friend
that means so much to you, that you would spend three hours just sitting with her if that would make it at all better.

There is that friendship
that has lasted through nearly ten years of your life, and is still growing.

There is that friend
who can make you smile through your tears, or cry out of happiness.

There is that friendwho is always there for you,
and just realizing that she would be there is more than enough to make it better.

There is that friend
who cares about clearing away your tears no less if you are crying over absolutely nothing or over something she may have done to hurt you.

I have one friend like that, and it is that friend that will always occupy a precious part of my heart.



happy birthday tan shu yan. to 9 years of friendship and more.

my dad just told me that due to some tax problem, i cant fly from sydney to singapore, which completely throws all my travel plans off track. i have already booked all my flights to australia and within australia. i have made excruciating arrangements so that i can bring my wad 50/60kg worth of stuff over to australia. now i have to bring everything back to new zealand.

and its not as simple as just leaving my things in wellington while i fly to australia and then back again.

1. i have no where to put my stuff at.
2. sia does not fly from wellington. ill have to go to auckland or christchurch, which means a flight from sydney to wellington, then wellington to auckland or christchurch which is a complete waste of money. furthermore, i need to take a domestic flight from wellington to auckland or christchurch which gives me only 20kg of baggage allowance.

my exam's tmr and he had to throw me a bomb right now. I need to confirm everything before I can arrange my flight to NZ. and the air new zealand promotion ends tmr.

a flight from sydney to auckland currently costs $400 when I could have gotten it for $200 odd a while ago. if only he told me then that i had to fly from nz when i first asked him. ARGH.

can we have obligations to someone we don't even know?

i have a friend who is embarrassed because she is 24 and has never had a boyfriend or anything remotely close to that. her closest encounter with anything romantic is having a crush on a guy when she was in secondary school.

i understand where she's coming from, but i don't think she has anything to be embarrassed about. on the contrary, i envy her. when i look at her, i think of how much she still has to offer and how much of myself i have already given away. she will still have the chance to create first memories with the one she loves the most. the one and only person she has felt this way for, the one and only person she has been this sweet to. the first and last pair of hands she will hold.

i never thought that indulging in romantic relationships in the past would be considered selfish. dating was fine to me, just going out, having fun was ok. I never saw the big deal of reserving yourself (not just sexually) for the ultimate person.

The more I love someone, the more jealous I get. His past affects me. Not because I will stop loving him, not because it will affect how I view him, but because I'm jealous that I have to share memories with another/several other girls. In the past, such things never mattered to me because I never really cared for another person. However, the more intense feelings get and the more heartfelt the relationship becomes, the more I want to be the only person he has ever loved. I hate it that when he looks at me the way he does, I think about whether he has looked at another girl the same way. When we go to a certain place, I think about whether another girl has been there with him too. It bothers me because i won't want to share him with other girls. I hate it that he has memories with another girl, another girl has memories of what it was like to be with him. it undermines how special the relationship is.

previously, i would have thought that that was just bull. it doesn't matter as long as i am the only person now, that eventually im the one he loves the most. but that's not true. Every relationship creates memories and leaves an imprint in your heart. It occupies a fraction of you and has become you. The heart is impressionable and every person you once love, you remember. Every such person is special. Can we actually say we don't cherish any past memory? In every relationship we want to make our mark, so that people don't forget us even when it ends. Yet in so doing, we take a piece of that person, we own a part of his history and his heart and his memory. So you see, every relationship takes something away from you and when you finally meet the person you really really want to be with, do you still have the best of you to offer? Will it be a pure, whole you or will you be a jigsaw puzzle pieced with fragments of different relationships?

It's not as simple as saying it's over, what we have now is far more special and exceedingly so. You wouldn't give a second-hand present to a very special friend, so why would you give a second/third/fourth-hand heart? It isn't that the heart is no longer good, it doesn't mean that the value has diminished. It does however mean that this heart has memories and previous imprints of other people.

It's like sex. I think that's one way we have failed so miserably in. So many of us reserve ourselves as a present for our future spouse as if it is grace. I think to give yourself away is to betray your future spouse. we've become so individualistic we dont stop to think about our responsibilities to a future unknown person.

for those reasons, im ashamed of myself for having been so selfish in the past. i would like to say that i love my future husband even before i knew him, that i treasure the relationship so much i reserved myself in every single way so that i am his exclusively. so that my heart was not tainted by memories of people who should have remained friends, of soft spots for people when i should only be having soft spot for my husband. Yet i was selfish. I have had relationships I sorely regret because I know it has become a part of me. I know i still think back fondly on memories created with other people even if we weren't truly together. I remember conversations, romantic dinners and mischievous childlike behaviour. Sweet tender moments that still make me smile. I revealed parts of myself and opened myself up to people who are not going to be permanent fixtures in my life. For that, I know I can no longer give myself wholly unto another person because I will carry with me these baggage of my past.

So for my friend who has not had a relationship yet, I envy you because you still have so much to offer.

and i'm sorry to the future mr. unknown ( if there even is one) who i know i have already betrayed even before i have met him.

from a blog junren forwarded to me

• "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

• "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill"

• I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

• "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

• "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

• "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

• "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

• "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

• "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

• "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

• "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

• "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response

• "I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

• "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

• "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

• "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

• "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."Paul Keating

• "He had delusions of adequacy."Walter Kerr

• "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."Jack E. Leonard

• "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."Robert Redford

• "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."Thomas Brackett Reed

• "He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

• "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."Charles, Count Talleyrand

• "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."Forrest Tucker

• "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"Mark Twain

• "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."Mae West

• "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."Oscar Wilde

• "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...For support rather than illumination."Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

• "He has Van Gogh's ear for music."Billy Wilder

interview with the smoking professor

how to light a cigarette
ªžмЇй: says:
he's* damn retarded
ªžмЇй: says:
say he smokes but when given a cigarette he doesnt know how to light it....
ªžмЇй: says:
*faints*
:: euniverse :: says:
huh hows tt possible
:: euniverse :: says:
u just light it la
ªžмЇй: says:
see you might say it but would u know how to?
ªžмЇй: says:
when actually given one
:: euniverse :: says:
isnt it just putting the stick to a flame
ªžмЇй: says:
see you also...
:: euniverse :: says:
den wad
:: euniverse :: says:
u mean the way to hold the lighter?
ªžмЇй: says:
you put it in your mouth la...
:: euniverse :: says:
huh i dun get it
ªžмЇй: says:
1) put unlighted cigarette in mouth
2) light other end with a lighter, simulatneously sucking the end that is in ur mouth
:: euniverse :: says:
so the trick is sucking it simultaneously la
:: euniverse :: says:
what happens if u dun
:: euniverse :: says:
u choke?
ªžмЇй: says:
babe its not a trick
ªžмЇй: says:
no..
ªžмЇй: says:
it doesnt light up
:: euniverse :: says:
ahhh i see
:: euniverse :: says:
interesting

how to smoke
ªžмЇй: says:
but even after you light it there is a way of smoking it
:: euniverse :: says:
how
ªžмЇй: says:
which is part 2 of the trick
ªžмЇй: says:
where you can tell some smokes or he's just a retard holding a lighted roll of tobacco

...

ªžмЇй: says:
right then
ªžмЇй: says:
the general difference between cigarette and cigar smoking is where the smoke travels
ªžмЇй: says:
ok
ªžмЇй: says:
cigarette --> throat / lungs
cigar --> mouth
ªžмЇй: says:
right then
ªžмЇй: says:
so when you smoke a cigarette
ªžмЇй: says:
when you initially suck it ur first puff, majority of the smoke lingers in your mouth
ªžмЇй: says:
what is needed is a subsequent inhalation such that it enters your lungs
ªžмЇй: says:
take note that when this second motion is done the cigarette is not in your mouth
ªžмЇй: says:
following this will be a very noticable exhale where the smoke comes out in a "stream" from the mouth
ªžмЇй: says:
that is proper smoking
ªžмЇй: says:
the pseudo one is akin to cigar smoking...
ªžмЇй: says:
fake smoker keeps it in the mouth and then tries to simulate the "stream" exhale
ªžмЇй: says:
however, what happens is that the smoke comes out in a clump as opposed to a stream

difference in composition between cigars and cigarettes.
:: euniverse :: says:
so cigar is diff frm cigarette?
ªžмЇй: says:
yes
ªžмЇй: says:
cigar is 100% pure tobacco
ªžмЇй: says:
so its very dense and concentrate
ªžмЇй: says:
you cant inhale cigar smoke coz its too thick la
ªžмЇй: says:
well you can try, but its akin to shoving your mouth in a exhaust pipe
:: euniverse :: says:
ok.. haha i didnt know this
ªžмЇй: says:
cigarette tobacco is processed tobacco
:: euniverse :: says:
thank you smoking professor
ªžмЇй: says:
so it can go down easier but we all know that it has 1000001 nonsense in it

differences between the heath risks
:: euniverse :: says:
so cigar is better?
ªžмЇй: says:
tsk tsk
ªžмЇй: says:
hmmm
ªžмЇй: says:
it depends


ªžмЇй: says:
its not which is better, but more of what makes you contract what
ªžмЇй: says:
you're more likely to have mouth cancer with cigar smoking
ªžмЇй: says:
and with cigarette its heart lung and throat diseases, occasionally will nose related ailments arise when the smoker prefers to exhale thru his nose, simulating a dragon
:: euniverse :: says:
so cigar is better la.
ªžмЇй: says:
you can say la....
ªžмЇй: says:
an analogy is like drinking 1% acid consistently
ªžмЇй: says:
as opposed to gargling 99% acid consistently

*the original interview contains information about a few individuals. this interview has been censored and cut for fear of defamation.
*"*ªžмЇй" is azmin.

ok girls, its kbox time.


Calcutta




ok this is the famous ai bu pa by cao meng (caterpillars) like THE boy band when i was 7yrs old or sth. they're not bad, but cannot beat our stand on couches, synchronised dancing rite..


aibupa at kbox




ok this is you yan


Pretty Boy - M2M




this is for you shen


tuo diao




for you fangs.


A1 - Same Old Brand New You

It isn't very difficult to see why
You are the way you are
Doesn't take a genius to realise
That sometimes life is hard

It's gonna take time
But you'll just have to wait
You're gonna be fine
But in the meantime

Come over here lady
Let me wipe your tears away

Come a little nearer baby
Coz you'll heal over
Heal over
Heal over someday

And I don't wanna hear you tell yourself
That these feelings are in the past
You know it doesn't mean they're off the shelf
Because pain's built to last

Everybody sails alone
But we can travel side by side
Even if you fail
You know that no one really minds

Come over here lady
Let me wipe your tears away

Come a little nearer baby
Cos you'll heal over someday
Heal over
Heal over someday

Don't hold on but don't let go
I know it's so hard
You've got to try to trust yourself
I know it's so hard, so hard

Come over here lady
Let me wipe your tears away

Come a little nearer baby
Coz you'll heal over,
heal over,
heal over someday

When I came to Wellington, I had luggage allowance of 54kg per person and I came with my parents. From Wellington to Sydney, I only have 27kg cos I'll be flying Qantas economy. I am seriously at a loss of what to do.

i'm overwhelmed with guilt. i just saw a picture of this old woman who was smiling so happily just because she was taking a photo. She smiles so brightly for the camera, hiding a little bit because she's shy. Her eyes are crinkled up in curved happy slits, the loose skin around them wrinkled with age, like thin paper crushed and crumpled over the years. She's abt 70years old and still working, rummaging through trash cans just for a little bit of extra cash because her children aren't supporting her.

when i saw that picture, i was struck down to the floor at how selfish, piteous, wretched my own life is. here i am, so self-absorbed in my own issues. thinking of new cars and condominiums, of 4k starting pays and 6-figure annual salaries. I think about beauty. of luxurious living, of classy flashy lifestyles. I dream of eternal youth and boundless energy.

Suddenly everything seems so insignificant. Here I am, fretting over not having what I want to have in my life. There are real people out there with greater problems. Issues of such magnitude that I have been sheltered from my whole life. Suddenly it hits me with such clarity, how much I actually have.

Everytime I witness something like that, I swear never to live life the way I do. I swear to spend wisely and to help those who are not as blessed as I am. Yet, when the moment passes, I revert back to my selfish ways. I may not be as materialistic as many other girls. I may not spend money as unthinkingly as others. But I could put my money to better use. I don't really need another bag, another pair of shoes, another dress, no matter how value-for-money it is.

I feel guilty for being so self-absorbed in my own perceived problems. I have the luxury of being upset of these things because I have been blessed enough not to have to worry about more pertinent issues. I'm lucky my parents are able to support me through university. We live relatively comfortably. We're healthy. We know God. We do not have major family problems. We have everything that we need.

But we're never satisfied. we keep wanting more. Why am I not thinner? Why am I not more beautiful? Why arent my grades better? Why am I not richer? We don't stop to wonder why we are given health, why we have the luxury of thinking about these trivial stuff, when people out there are actually worrying where the next meal comes from.


it's painful to see how ugly I really am. I'm greedy, I covet so much when I have so much. I am already so lucky. I promised in my heart to greet everyone with a smile, to be the best friend I can be, because other people have heartaches that i cannot comprehend because i'm too blessed to understand. I really wish I have the strength not to be conformed by this world.

I don't know what it is like to be poor/ugly/unaccepted/sick. I have God. Encouraging friends and family. What more could I ask for?

When I finally see past how my inadequacies, i realise how they only reflect how adequate I am. Maybe then, I can finally live happily, fully and freely in the joy and contentment I was meant to live in, by the unmatched grace of God.

Yet I know with a throbbing numbness that when I wake tomorrow morning, I'll have infinite complains about my life. I'll revert back to the selfish creature I am. And I wouldn't even begin to understand the magnitude of how much I have.

But right now, I detest the way I live and how I'm so self-absorbed.

ok i got my internet cut again so i havent been online. sorry! right. lets keep things nice and short. got a reply from kumar. i have shamed nus. im really feeling so bad abt it. but i have reasons that ill explain another time. steamboat dinner was excellent. super good. made some more msian friends and from hongkong too. exam's on friday. super screwed. i went for 3 lectures the whole of the second half of the trimester. dead la. international law worse. ONE lecture. and i was dozing off. dead. dead. dead.

Create Your Own!

i know you think things are tough right now, but don't give up! all of us can see how you guys are good for each other. don't let something external cause a rift internally. you know what you want and if you want it bad enough you will do whatever it takes to make it work. no matter what, im still here yea. you're my favourite person in the world!! have been and always will be. i still want to be your bridesmaid k. smile. :)

though times are tough i know things will work out for you. you've been through a lot all these years and i know you will be able to go through another difficult time. you're one of the strongest person i know and you've always been there for me in the most amazing of ways. im no longer 5min away but i will be soon. miss u so much. was just thinking of you and your "everyone thinks we were damn cool".. :) ur silly antics never fails to make me laugh. till i see you again!

and to YOU.. i cant begin to express how really happy i am for you. wah lau eh. he's damn nice to you la. from the many years of "we're just friends" to "i dont know whats going on" to "we're together at last", i think u guys have come damn far and im so happy he makes u the happiest girl in the universe. 9mths will pass soon.. ure the luckiest among us all alr la. stop whining.

ok girls, ai bu pa, blue da ba de, calcutta taxi, when im back k. i learnt a few more silly songs. ill teach u when im back. promise. ;)

the weather forecast for singapore for 5 october 2006 is as follows. cloudy, 32degrees. note, its CLOUDY. so if it's clear day it should hover around 33/34degrees?! that's insane. wellington's 7degrees now. i cant imagine what returning to singapore will be like.

let me express my intense heart-felt gratitude to joanne. thanks to her, we have good food every weekend. fish congee, home-made sweet corn soup, ban mian, wanton mee (with prawn not pork), curry naan.. everything. and tomorrow we're having steamboat because its mooncake festival. i dont even celebrate it in singapore!

without this group of people, wellington would not be the same. all our super talk cock girly sessions that drive elvin absolutely nuts.

"i want to have 3 kids"
"Oh i wanted to have 3 last time too, 2 girls 1 boy but then i decided my boy will be lonely so i decided i want 4, 2 girls 2 boys."
"huh...why you all want to have so many.. very painful you know.. 2 enough already la. 1 girl 1 boy, best if they're twins"
"yah lor yah lor. twins the best. one shot get it done."
"no lor u all will regret one. they go sch together, graduate together, financial burden will kill you leh. if you spread ur kids out over a few years den maybe you can have time to save."
"yah hor.. true true. must think about it."
"eh den when u all want to get married ah?"

at this point elvin (who is the only guy because the other 2 guys are too lazy to come out) will be groaning and begging us to stop.

hurhur. so fun. :):):)

just had my human rights seminar. omg BIG MISTAKE. new zealand is HUGE on human rights. it's like right up there with all usa and the europeans blah blah. and my topic was on how human rights do NOT exist.

honestly, i thought i made quite a convincing case. till i met the firing squad. omg. and i mentioned the word NAZI in front of them. My class has 6 germans. The professor's german. TREMENDOUS MISTAKE.

I was attacked left right centre front back up down for an hour odd. i felt like crying.

i havent been online because my internet got cut again. raar. i have a limit on my bandwidth per week so sometimes i just lose all internet connection by say thursday because ive been youtube-ing too much.

oh! i watched loose change edition 2 last week. Ok, I have never watched loose change before. I'm not one of those full-on anti-US-govt people. I mean 9-11 happened so long ago and I couldnt understand why people kept bringing it up again and again. But loosechange is gdness gracious me enlightening. The evidence and arguments are so powerful, I am convinced that there was something fishy about the whole thing. I'm not saying it was an inside job though it looks like it, but it is questionable why the govt never bothered clarifying any of the incriminating evidence or accusations. Seriously, go watch it. its been taken off youtube so hopefully its still on www.metacafe.com. search loose change. there are 3 parts to it. seriously, just go watch it. I'm not one of those documentary-siao ppl, as you all know, im a sappy korean drama girl. but really just watch it and be amazed. i mean, shocked.

i had an exceptionally enjoyable weekend. maybe i am getting used to lazy weekends. Waking at 3pm, brunch, grocery shopping (which is perhaps the ONLY shopping i do here.. with the exclusion of shoes and dresses and skirts and hats and shades, i do not shop. ), followed by tea and muffins by the wharf and then dinner and singapore-talking and supper till 2am and chatting on the phone till 5am. Waking up on sunday for yumcha, tea till 5.30pm, night church followed by a fantastic dinner and more girly talk till 3am and chatting till 6am again.

We were supposed to go to the spring festival yesterday at the botanical gardens where there would be a huge display of tulips. alas, it was raining and we couldn't make it. but we'll go there soon. next wk next wk.

during tea yesterday, there was a film reading. yes, a film READING, where people just read scripts. It was interesting, i really enjoyed it although i couldn't really hear them and somehow i seem to be the only person vaguely interested in literature among the asians here.

i think, with good company with people who like film and art, wellington would be a really pretty place to be in.

God has been faithful this week, as always. I'm soo happy for friends who realised the need for God. I know I'm probably not the biggest evangelist around or perhaps I am the worst, but I'll say it now. Once you know God, you'll know the greatest treasure ever. It's like you suddenly get enlightened and you don't understand how you could have lived life the way you did. Life has hope. You're secure in the knowledge that you're loved by the only person who truly truly matters. It's really like being in love. And it really is love. It's a relationship and I honestly with all my heart hope everyone will know Him one day because it really is the biggest present in the world. It's not the material wealth, the spiritual goodness and richness is so much more valuable and precious. Just knowing and acknowledging that He is GOD, and that He's so powerful He can take care of you. That He loves you so much. That you are so unworthy and yet He can still love you.

Meanwhile, I won't be travelling much, my extensive holiday plans cut short short short to s whopping TWO days in christchurch. oh well. I guess ill travel next year then. But it is saddening knowing that when I return in November, my sister will not be there. She's going to the States BY HERSELF followed by the mission trip with my 2 brothers and other church members in december.

It will be the first time Im missing out on chiangrai. i always feel so blessed when i am there, like i am taking so much from these people instead of giving to them. and i really mean it. its really a joy that extends from the heart, and a peace deep down knowing that He is God and He is sovereign.

Spring is here and I really like it. Daylight saving has started, so now I'm officially 5 hours in front of singapore time. I like Spring here. It's not cold like winter. I like the wind rustling the leaves and the way it moves and envelops you. It's almost like a presence in itself. I don't exactly like the way my hair gets all messy (no its not sexy like in mtvs. picture hurricane, not light breeze) but I honestly get comforted by the wind when its not crazy. It sounds crazy, I know, but it really is the spirit of Wellington. When you feel winds like this even when you're surrounded by buildings, you know this is what it means to be in Wellington. Even when it rains in Spring, it is bright and happy and romantic. It drizzles, it doesnt pour. There are no lightnings or thunder. I hate rain in Singapore. It makes me sad and depressed and cold. Ok I don't exactly like rain here but I just really like Spring. In Spring, you literally walk with a spring in your step because you're so happy to be just out there in nice weather. But of course I like Singapore too. I love the tropics. I'm meant to be in warm weather.

My presentation's in 5 hours and I have NOT started on my presentation at all. I have no idea how I'm going to stand up among masters students in a human rights class and tell them "I don't believe in HUMAN rights." My exams start 13 Oct and I have to really really start s.t.u.d.y.i.n.g. i hate that word. hated it my whole life. I would rather do 10 assignments than 1 exam. eew.

oh my brother's car has arrived and im jealous. i REALLY hope my dad gets me a car too. Although I do know that it will be an utter waste of money and I'll just be another one of those spoilt biatches. I don't think I'll drive to town or school, what with CTE jams, petrol and carpark and ERP costs. I might drive at night when I go out but that's really about it. I'm really such a GIAM girl at heart.

I'm becoming so extremely singaporean even when im not in singapore. I cant believe I actually listen to Mr. Brown now and I actually understand some hokkien stuff. And I actually mentioned "why you so lydat", "damn one kind la", to my mom yesterday. I mean I know what they mean and I hear it around but I don't really use it in Singapore. I use singlish but im using phrases ive never used in my life. Maybe I really miss Singapore too much or maybe Elvin's a bad influence, what with his "nobody can qie (beat) me one la".

Meanwhile, kumar hasnt' replied me regarding cutting my exchange short except for a "you're very irresponsible. It's extremely unfair to both NUS and the exchange university. I will not consider your request unless you have a very strong reason." Well, spending 2K a month in a city with nothing to do is not reason enough when I have 3 other siblings going overseas in the next 5years too, I really dont know how else to convince him.