i already forget how i used to feel about you

i havent been online because my internet got cut again. raar. i have a limit on my bandwidth per week so sometimes i just lose all internet connection by say thursday because ive been youtube-ing too much.

oh! i watched loose change edition 2 last week. Ok, I have never watched loose change before. I'm not one of those full-on anti-US-govt people. I mean 9-11 happened so long ago and I couldnt understand why people kept bringing it up again and again. But loosechange is gdness gracious me enlightening. The evidence and arguments are so powerful, I am convinced that there was something fishy about the whole thing. I'm not saying it was an inside job though it looks like it, but it is questionable why the govt never bothered clarifying any of the incriminating evidence or accusations. Seriously, go watch it. its been taken off youtube so hopefully its still on www.metacafe.com. search loose change. there are 3 parts to it. seriously, just go watch it. I'm not one of those documentary-siao ppl, as you all know, im a sappy korean drama girl. but really just watch it and be amazed. i mean, shocked.

i had an exceptionally enjoyable weekend. maybe i am getting used to lazy weekends. Waking at 3pm, brunch, grocery shopping (which is perhaps the ONLY shopping i do here.. with the exclusion of shoes and dresses and skirts and hats and shades, i do not shop. ), followed by tea and muffins by the wharf and then dinner and singapore-talking and supper till 2am and chatting on the phone till 5am. Waking up on sunday for yumcha, tea till 5.30pm, night church followed by a fantastic dinner and more girly talk till 3am and chatting till 6am again.

We were supposed to go to the spring festival yesterday at the botanical gardens where there would be a huge display of tulips. alas, it was raining and we couldn't make it. but we'll go there soon. next wk next wk.

during tea yesterday, there was a film reading. yes, a film READING, where people just read scripts. It was interesting, i really enjoyed it although i couldn't really hear them and somehow i seem to be the only person vaguely interested in literature among the asians here.

i think, with good company with people who like film and art, wellington would be a really pretty place to be in.

God has been faithful this week, as always. I'm soo happy for friends who realised the need for God. I know I'm probably not the biggest evangelist around or perhaps I am the worst, but I'll say it now. Once you know God, you'll know the greatest treasure ever. It's like you suddenly get enlightened and you don't understand how you could have lived life the way you did. Life has hope. You're secure in the knowledge that you're loved by the only person who truly truly matters. It's really like being in love. And it really is love. It's a relationship and I honestly with all my heart hope everyone will know Him one day because it really is the biggest present in the world. It's not the material wealth, the spiritual goodness and richness is so much more valuable and precious. Just knowing and acknowledging that He is GOD, and that He's so powerful He can take care of you. That He loves you so much. That you are so unworthy and yet He can still love you.

Meanwhile, I won't be travelling much, my extensive holiday plans cut short short short to s whopping TWO days in christchurch. oh well. I guess ill travel next year then. But it is saddening knowing that when I return in November, my sister will not be there. She's going to the States BY HERSELF followed by the mission trip with my 2 brothers and other church members in december.

It will be the first time Im missing out on chiangrai. i always feel so blessed when i am there, like i am taking so much from these people instead of giving to them. and i really mean it. its really a joy that extends from the heart, and a peace deep down knowing that He is God and He is sovereign.

Spring is here and I really like it. Daylight saving has started, so now I'm officially 5 hours in front of singapore time. I like Spring here. It's not cold like winter. I like the wind rustling the leaves and the way it moves and envelops you. It's almost like a presence in itself. I don't exactly like the way my hair gets all messy (no its not sexy like in mtvs. picture hurricane, not light breeze) but I honestly get comforted by the wind when its not crazy. It sounds crazy, I know, but it really is the spirit of Wellington. When you feel winds like this even when you're surrounded by buildings, you know this is what it means to be in Wellington. Even when it rains in Spring, it is bright and happy and romantic. It drizzles, it doesnt pour. There are no lightnings or thunder. I hate rain in Singapore. It makes me sad and depressed and cold. Ok I don't exactly like rain here but I just really like Spring. In Spring, you literally walk with a spring in your step because you're so happy to be just out there in nice weather. But of course I like Singapore too. I love the tropics. I'm meant to be in warm weather.

My presentation's in 5 hours and I have NOT started on my presentation at all. I have no idea how I'm going to stand up among masters students in a human rights class and tell them "I don't believe in HUMAN rights." My exams start 13 Oct and I have to really really start s.t.u.d.y.i.n.g. i hate that word. hated it my whole life. I would rather do 10 assignments than 1 exam. eew.

oh my brother's car has arrived and im jealous. i REALLY hope my dad gets me a car too. Although I do know that it will be an utter waste of money and I'll just be another one of those spoilt biatches. I don't think I'll drive to town or school, what with CTE jams, petrol and carpark and ERP costs. I might drive at night when I go out but that's really about it. I'm really such a GIAM girl at heart.

I'm becoming so extremely singaporean even when im not in singapore. I cant believe I actually listen to Mr. Brown now and I actually understand some hokkien stuff. And I actually mentioned "why you so lydat", "damn one kind la", to my mom yesterday. I mean I know what they mean and I hear it around but I don't really use it in Singapore. I use singlish but im using phrases ive never used in my life. Maybe I really miss Singapore too much or maybe Elvin's a bad influence, what with his "nobody can qie (beat) me one la".

Meanwhile, kumar hasnt' replied me regarding cutting my exchange short except for a "you're very irresponsible. It's extremely unfair to both NUS and the exchange university. I will not consider your request unless you have a very strong reason." Well, spending 2K a month in a city with nothing to do is not reason enough when I have 3 other siblings going overseas in the next 5years too, I really dont know how else to convince him.