i already forget how i used to feel about you

Do you accept a person wholly and completely for who he is when you love him? is that really love? is it wrong to want to change a person for the better? is that trying to conform him into the person you want him to be and not the person he really is? that is such a secular way of thinking, a very seductive, very "reasonable" way of thinking.

but is that really love? do our parents allow us to do as we wish and not discipline us when we have done wrong? do they allow us to grow into deceitful and selfish people? isn't it precisely because we love a person that we cannot accept certain aspects of a person? isn't it because you love a person that you don't want him to continue in his wrong ways? would you not want the best for him? you try to change the bad parts not for you but for him. when you say you accept a person the way he is, it does not mean you will condone every sin he does. Will you allow your drug-addict son to continue his decandent ways? surely no. not for you but for him. When we say we accept a person regardless of who is he, we say we will love him no matter what but it does not necessarily mean we will tolerate everything he does, turning a blind eye to all his wrongs.

it hurts to discipline a person. nobody likes restricting the person they love. we all want to give the ones we love absolute freedom. the crux of the issue is, are they capable of handling that freedom or will they abuse it? you can say its the power of choice, you should allow the ones you love the power to choose the life they want to lead. that is true, but do you not think it hurts to see the one you love walking down a path that will lead to eternal regret? God disciplines us for our own good and it hurts him to do so. But i believe it hurts him even more when we make wrong decisions and fall. Where do we find the balance?

How do we make a person change? Can we do it by rules and threats? Are relationships contracts with consequences for those who breach it? Sadly they are not. There is nothing "fair" about relationships because love is simply not calculative. It does not keep record of wrong. When someone breaks a promise to you, you are the one who gets hurt not him.

Forcing change by rules is hardly going to work. It may create outward conformity but there is no inward change of heart. We can impose heavy fines on littering in Singapore but Singaporeans continue to litter in JB. One can only truly change when the motivation stems from an inward force, love. Don't change for another person becaue the person tells you to. change because you love the person. there's a difference. conformity without conviction cannot last.

When we love a person we will change for the person. We won't take the person for granted and expect the person to accept us because he loves us. Recognise that love is not about taking, that you will want to give too. Therefore, when we say we love God, we should change for God too. How many of us have been taking His love for granted? How many of us take advantage of the fact that He's always there and he will never leave? is that the true hallmark of loving children?

Christianity has been deemed as restrictive. However, the truth cannot be further from it. All God wants is for us to love Him. Everything else, if we really love Him and we really are transformed by Him will come naturally, bit by bit. Obedience is an act of love, not an act of a forced will. How can obedience be deemed as restrictive when you do it from your heart?

Christianity liberates us. Think about it. You're either bound to God or to Satan. So why not to God? Would you rather burn in hell?