i already forget how i used to feel about you

the end of the perfect fairytale. scarred by lies and infidelity. i appear fine and yet deep within something is cracking apart breaking down, shattering into a trillion pieces. you have broken me. you have broken me down. you see through my defences and you tear my soul apart. you deceived me with your pretences and now im left alone and crying into my pillow, dreaming of what was but never to be.

i wish this was just a big nightmare. i wish you would be here to hold me and tell me everything is fine. all i wanted was for you to be happy with me. i wish what people told me were lies. i wish nothing of this is real. but then again, what we had was surreal too. im lifted to heaven and flung to hell by your one action. i hate your cheating heart.

i wish i could erase you from my memories. if only your name wasn't etched on my mind like it is. i don't know why i cant stop loving you. why do i wish the best for you even now? why do i fall prey to your emotional and mind games and yet come out of it wishing to go back to it.

maybe it would be better to live in a lie forever. then my heart wouldn't cry like it does. im torn apart and i don't know what to do.