i already forget how i used to feel about you

So I passed my driving test a little less than a week ago. It was a miracle considering the number of lessons I took after the last failure and the severe lack of sleep because we were so busy entertaining the North Carolinas. I was so so so sure I would fail again.

So before I went on the test I just prayed really really hard and told God to drive. And all went well. So well, I got a whopping 0 points. You know what a miracle that is? I'm the sort of driver you do not ask how many points I got. You ask how many immediate failures I got. And I got ZERO?! (p.s. I was not wearing a short skirt or anything like that)

Well, I had an amazing tester who FOR ONCE actually said good morning when I said good morning to him. Who actually made conversation with me and told me not to be nervous (like it was hard to tell I was nervous since my breath was shaking). On top of that, I had the EASIEST test route. Nonetheless, I credit my passing to God because Lord knows (ok everyone for that matter) I suck.

Well, if I thought passing the Traffic Police Test was tough, boy passing the Daddy test was helluva lot harder. I think I better stop driving. I'm giving my daddy a heart attack soon. EVERYTIME I'm behind the wheel he turns into this paranoid monster with lungs the size of the airbag. He yells and he screams. He's just short of pulling his hair and turning purple, I tell you.

"STOP! Can't you see you don't have enough space?"

"SLOW DOWN!!! WHAT'S THE HURRY?!?!?!" (fyi, 40km/h IS pretty slow)

"GIVE WAY TO HIM!!!!!!" (I am giving way. And how in the world do you know it's a HIM? Seems like all drivers have the same sex i.e. male unless of course it's a bad driver and the world automatically says 'what kinda lousy driver is SHE?' sexist I say, sexist.)

I tell you, I better be kind to my daddy and just quit driving altogether. He's so desperate for me to stop driving his car he told me to contact my driving instructor again, and check this out. He's willing to PAY to let me drive another man's car. Figure that out.

Now that I've graduated into the REAL driving world. WHOA. What happened to giving way and safety man? My dad's gotta be the safest driver in the world. He always signals, checks his blind spots, keeps to the speed limit. ALWAYS. That's the world I'm used to. But when I'm behind the wheel, boy are the drivers bullies. I know the P-plate's a license to bully but can you please observe safety?

Oh Drivers, PLEASE SIGNAL. I mean, if you want to cut into my lane, by all means. But please signal. How the hell am I supposed to know whether you're just a lousy driver who cant keep strictly to his lane or you want to cut my lane?! And. Braking does not equal signalling. I've had enough of silly drivers who just brake and brake and I'm wondering "HUH?" Like those red lights are supposed to tell me you want to change lanes? Excuse me mister (ah yes, I'm sexist too), signal lights are ORANGE darling.

And taxis. They're a safety hazard. Stop stopping along the road as and when you like. It's not funny especially when you're driving with your dad. Taxis change to the extreme right lane and then to the extreme left to pick up some passenger in a matter of 1 minute. No wonder they're always brightly coloured. They're a safety hazard!

To all the drivers out there, I may be a rookie but please do not bully me. I know I'm not the best driver in the world but I'll learn. Plus, I signal and I observe the traffic rules, so I kinda think that makes me a better driver than 80% of you out there ok. And quoting from army friends, "don't take my kindness as my weakness." So there.