i already forget how i used to feel about you

im sulking.

August
4th - Short Paper IP Law due (10%)
11th - Short Paper IP Law due (10%)
12th - Offences against the Person thesis due (37.5%)
18th- Short Paper IP Law due (10%)
19th - Offences against the Person seminar (37.5%)
24th - International Law Opinion due (30%)

September
8th - IP Opinion due (40%)
15th - Human Rights thesis due (45%)
18th - Human Rights Seminar (30%)

October
13th - IP Test (40%)

Ok what this means is
by 19 August, I'll be 1 module down, 3 to go
by 18th September, 2 modules down, 2 to go
by 13th October, 3 modules down, 1 to go. or rather, 70% of one module to go.

in the meantime. ARGH. and i still havent figured out how to do research here.

i cant go for my ski trip anymore because my seminar presentation falls right smack on the ski weekend.

i don't have much of a holiday AT ALL.

im sulking and acting like a petulant little girl. i wanna whine and pout and be totally immature. but there's no one to whine to or to whine with. this sucks. yes i know im being childish here. i know im being a softie. so sue me.

i think im a pretty independent person. i may not do household chores but it doesnt mean i cant do it. (actually everyone can do it. anyone who tells you she doesnt know how to wash a dish, sew a button, wipe a table, make a bed, tidy a room is lying. you don't have to learn it. you just do it.) i can pretty much take care of myself. if i really want to, i can cook and i can clean and wash and iron. I can find my way around. I can do the marketing. Im not that direction-blind, I can find my way around. Im not emotionally dependent on any particular person. I don't cry or go crazy because Im not in familiar territory or not in my comfort zone.

and yet it gets tiring sometimes. i know i can take care of myself but i dont really want to. i like being taken care of. I like coming home to a clean house without worrying about the pile of clothes i left around the room. I like having someone clean up after me. and it gets wearisome at times when i cant complain or whine to a person, be weak and dependent for just a while. I cant throw tantrums when im here, not even once in a long while. I cant act silly and childish because i really cant afford to. not that i do that in singapore, but i can if i want to. if i whine in front of my mom she will just laugh it off. if i throw a silly girly fit once a year, she'll brush it off.

sigh. the long wait till im home again.