i already forget how i used to feel about you

ive been feeling really sick and tired of everything that has been going on in my life for a while now. somehow nothing ever seems to go right, everything lies in limbo, hovering in the region of the unknown. i just really want to start everything all over again instead of living so aimlessly not knowing where im headed. just not in the mood to talk or communicate anymore, wish things were right again.

ive waited so long for things to be right again, ive already forgotten what it was like when things were fine. ive kinda given up on the hope that things will ever be right again. im seeking some form of hope in my life but my stubborn nature refuses to accept what life has for me. Yet im increasingly feeling that perhaps my obduracy is the very cause of this lachrymosity i battle.

have you ever had so much to say but not say it till one day you realise that in the end there really is nothing left to say? or maybe you have waited so long for some words to be said but you have waited so long that those words don't mean anything anymore.

i guess the boat has really been missed this time round.