i already forget how i used to feel about you
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
it has been eons since i last blogged about something that was close to my heart. i havent seemed to get in touch with that inner me that likes to discuss issues and develop insights. i think i have descended to being a brainless girl with no mind of her own who just shops and eats all day long. it makes me scared to realise that. it's like suddenly, i despise myself. how did i let myself get here? with no views, no opinion, nothing.
see, my secondary sch history teacher used to say that you need to think to be clever. and i do agree. if you let your mind stagnate, if you allow yourself to just be, without challenging yourselves to ponder about the world around you, you will be a very boring person. sure, you may have fun, but there is no enrichment. there is nothing deeper than what meets the eye. so yes, an interesting person (to me at least) is someone who holds views about current affairs, who can actually hold a conversation about religion, politics, love, justice etc etc. Ive always envied those who could be so intelligent. there's a distinction to be made between people who absorb and people who formulate. the latter is a more aggressive projection of one's mental prowess. it demands independent thought and a thorough understanding of that absorbed. so you see, opinionated people are clever people. (provided, of course, that your opinions are not complete rubbish)
its difficult to have an opinion. how many of us have reacted to news, current affairs, stories with a nonchalant shrug of the shoulders. it doesn't affect us, so let's move on. the thing is, we are so apathetic and cocooned in our little world, we have made a fool out of ourselves. its almost like we live in our own shrine. yes, shrine. we worship ourselves. we dont care enough about anything other than us. therefore, we dont feel enough to have an opinion.
its difficult to have an opinion. its even more difficult to have an opinion about many things. we would have to have an interest in many things in order to bother thinking and pondering over those things. for example, i could not possibly have an opinion on the history of basketball. i dont think i even know the rules of that game. how intelligent they must be, those people who have an opinion about many things. it must mean that they are interested and passionate about many things in life. their minds are always on the prowl for something exciting, and they cling onto thoughts and expand upon those thoughts instead of just letting them slide. its almost like exercising your mind and training it. you need to work at the different "muscle groups" and not be lazy about it. so yes, people who think deeply about a variety of issues are really fascinating individuals.
how cool would it be to be able to discuss at length any topic in the world and to have insights to all of them. and sadly, i will never be like that. im just not that smart. it just makes me scared that i have now stopped thinking altogether. i am now, stupid and on my way to alzheimers. great.
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