i already forget how i used to feel about you

one thing about being single is that i have to be strong for myself again. no matter what comes my way i have to deal with it now.

i came back from court today feeling pretty damn low and discouraged. but i didn't really have anyone to go to to talk. well, not that there aren't people who are showing me attention, but none who i feel safe with to confide in. somehow it just feels like they won't really understand. and maybe i don't really want them to understand?

anyway, i really wanted to cry when i got back but as soon as i sat down i told myself that i could no longer afford to be weak and vulnerable anymore because it is pointless. what will being weak do? what can crying do? will feeling sorry for myself help the situation? i do not have anyone to lean on, that is a fact. so stop it. live with it and suck it up.

there is no one to talk to and to complain and to be real to. from now on i have to steel up and fight for myself. no one is going to show mercy nor sympathy and i shouldnt expect them to. people have their own lives which continue whether or not you are in it.

come on eunice.

suck.it.up.